Date Dish Blog

If you’re in a relationship and having feelings of jealousy, insecurity, or general co-dependance, you need to seriously take a step back and think about the destruction these impulses are likely causing on your relationship.

This little graphic sums it up pretty perfectly… basically, if you’re clinging to your insecurities like a life raft, you’re just being dragged further and further from shore. It is pretty hard to keep a handle on your self, your happiness, and your self-respect when you aren’t captaining your own ship.

If you’re with someone who makes you feel lousy, it either means you’re wasting your time with them, or that you need to do some serious self-work in order to be able to have healthy relationship, or maybe both!

If you want to be master of your own reality, you can’t be letting yourself be dragged through life. Get up on your own two feet. Take responsibility for the role you are playing in your life, and start working hard at being in charge of your own happiness. It is the only way you’ll find it!

Love is a game… a mating dance that has developed over generations. It doesn’t matter if you’re talking about the age of computers, or the era of horse & carriage. Since the dawn of human history, people have had the hots for each other and have looked for ways to hook up with their crushes without facing humiliation or public embarrassment. It used to be a game of breeding & material wealth played out between the parents of families to arrange matches for their children. Now it tends much more towards floundering around with texts, facebook, dating sites and (gasp) real-live flirtation.

So, you’re getting that tingly feeling directly related to visual contact with your crush and you want to know how to drop the hint (subtle and not so) to see if the interest is mutual? Here are some tips!

1. Be on their team

Whether your crush is a friend, a co-worker, or the guy next to you in line at Starbucks, there is almost always a way to choose their side in a situation. For instance, your long-time female friend is recently single and you’ve developed feelings beyond friendship… let her bash her boyfriend (or even all men) and talking up how ‘way to good for that loser,’ she is, will make her see that you’re the exception to her heartbroken rule.

2. Be Chivalrous

Think charming, smart, slick and SEXY. Think MadMen charmers and sexy pencil skirts with cashmere sweaters. Basically, open doors for her… give her your seat on the subway, bring him an unexpected coffee… point out his good idea in a meeting… and do it all with a knowing look and a sexy half-smile (just for a moment), before turning your attention to something else.

3. Like them on Facebook

Like your crushes status updates on facebook. Don’t stalk them, but like a post here and there to let them know you’re interested enough in them to be paying attention. If you have a way with words, come up with some pithy replies to make them notice your smarts and your sense of humour, your passions for their political flavour, or your interest in their unusually high number of domesticated animals… you get the idea.

4. Make them Laugh

A great way to create the feeling of ‘relationship’ with a crush is to share an inside joke, nickname, or memory and to bring it up as much as you can to relive that moment of ‘togetherness’ you shared in that stalled elevator, laughing fit last Tuesday, or hilarious soup Nazi incident the other day at lunch.

5. Support their Causes

If you really want to show someone what a great team you’d be, support their after-work attempts at celebrity, join their pickup softball team, volunteer with them… whatever it is they do with their spare time, accept their invitations to join in.

6. Notice Them

A lot of people spend a lot of energy pretending to be cool when their crush comes around, but if you’re trying to figure out the possibility for mutual attraction, you can’t be so subtle you’re invisible. You’ve got to be willing to take at least a small risk… nice haircut, great shoes, or love your cologne/perfume are all great ways of letting someone know you see them for more than their memo-writing ability.

7. Join the Gang

If you’ve got a crush who is outside of your normal social circle, a great way of getting to spend more time with them on the sly is to befriend their friends. Become one of the gang and not only will you get to spend a lot more time in proximity to your hottie, but you’ll be giving them more opportunities to notice you too!

8. Remember their Birthday

This one can be a long-term investment, but people are definitely surprised and take note when unexpected people remember their birthday. Outlook is awesome for looking like you truly care.

9. Be Prompt

Guys, when she texts you, text back right away. Most girls totally notice this stuff, especially if you casually ignore other texts when you’re with her. Score!

Ladies, text back quickly now and then, but not all the time. Guys are attuned to signs of desperation or women trying to take them off the dating market and a little coyness can do wonders for your sex appeal.

10. Loan them Something

One great way of testing the waters with a crush is to loan them something… whether it’s a favourite book, your sweater, a nice pen, or your secretly-made mix CD that features their favourite song, lending them something reminds them that you’re sweet, generous and that you exist.

What are your favourite ways for tipping off a crush?